Becoming an Upstander in the Workplace

In today's diverse and inclusive workplaces, it is crucial for leaders to foster an environment that encourages respect, empathy, and active intervention. Inappropriate or disrespectful behaviour impacts people in different ways, and for one it might feel severely disrespectful and for others mild. What we have to appreciate as leaders, is that certain groups of people will experience these behaviours more frequently than others and the effect is compounded over time, leaving them feeling angry and frustrated.

When subtle acts of exclusion (including microaggressions) or other more severe inappropriate behaviour (these range from racial, religious, and sexist slurs to sexual harassment) go unnoticed or unaddressed, they lead to a toxic work culture, diminished employee well-being and in more serious cases, expensive lawsuits. 

However, by understanding the concepts of upstander versus bystander and practising the 5 D's, leaders can empower themselves and their teams to create a safe and inclusive workplace.

Upstander versus Bystander: Understanding the Difference

A bystander is someone who witnesses inappropriate behaviour or an act of exclusion but chooses not to take any action. On the other hand, an upstander is an individual who recognizes such behaviour and proactively intervenes to address it. By choosing to be an upstander, leaders (and everyone) can make a significant impact on the work environment and foster a culture of respect, inclusion, and belonging.

5Ds to being an active Upstander

To effectively address inappropriate behavior individuals can leverage the 5 D's - a set of Upstander tactics. The 5 D's were developed by a non-profit organization, Right To Be. They created these tactics to help people know how to stop harassment and inappropriate behaviour, with a set of simple and safe tactics.

Here’s an overview of the tactics:

Distract: A simple yet powerful technique is to distract the situation by shifting the focus away from the inappropriate behaviour or the target. For instance, if someone is making derogatory comments about a colleague's appearance, an upstander can change the topic or engage the person in a different conversation to diffuse tension and redirect attention positively. 

The power of Distraction is that no one has to know you are actually intervening in harassment! If you’re someone creative or shy, or if it seems like the person behaving inappropriately might escalate their behaviour if you speak out openly against it, then Distraction can be a great, subtle option for you. 

Delegate: If the situation requires immediate action or the upstander does not feel equipped to handle it alone, delegating the responsibility to someone in a position of authority, such as a supervisor or HR professional, can be an effective strategy. You could also reach out to peers to think through the next steps. By involving others who have the power to intervene, the upstander can ensure appropriate action is taken.

Sometimes people wonder: “Can I Delegate HR to intervene?” Our response is that you should not contact HR or other mechanisms unless you’ve checked with the person affected by the behaviour and they’ve explicitly agreed to do this.

Document: Document does not need to be overly formal. It could involve you noting down the facts around the incident and using this to bring the “target’s” attention. Often people who have been on the receiving side of inappropriate behaviour for a long time might dismiss the behaviour or not feel it to be severe. Sharing your observations is a good way to help them see it from a different perspective and find the courage to act or report it.

In cases where the inappropriate behaviour persists or escalates, documenting the incident can provide crucial evidence. This could include taking notes of what was said or done, gathering any relevant emails or messages, or capturing screenshots if the incident occurred online. By maintaining a record, the upstander can present a more comprehensive account when reporting the incident. Remember - always ask the person on the receiving end what they want to do with your notes.

Direct: Sometimes, we may want to respond directly by naming the inappropriate behaviour and confronting the person doing harm. 

An upstander can address the inappropriate behaviour directly, expressing their concerns and setting clear boundaries. The key to Direct intervention is to keep it short and succinct. As tempting as it may be, avoid engaging in dialogue, debate, or an argument – since this is how situations can escalate. 

If you choose to intervene directly, here are some examples of what you can say:

• “That’s inappropriate,” “That’s disrespectful,” “That’s racist,” “That’s not okay,” etc.
• “This not how we behave in the company.”
• Play back/repeat what the person is saying and use silence to help them reflect

This approach requires confidence and assertiveness, emphasizing the importance of respect and inclusivity in the workplace.

Delay: In certain situations, immediate intervention may not be feasible or safe. Instead, an upstander can choose to address the incident at a later time, ensuring that appropriate action is taken. This could involve discussing the matter with the target privately, reporting the incident to HR, or seeking guidance from a trusted colleague or mentor. Delayed intervention still holds value and demonstrates a commitment to creating a safe work environment.

Here are some examples of how you can Delay:

• Ask them if they’re okay, and let them know you saw or heard what happened and it wasn’t okay.
• Ask them if there’s any way you can support them. This is active allyship.
• Offer to sit with them for a while.
• Share resources with them and offer to help them make a report if they want to.
• If you’ve documented the incident, ask them if they want you to use it to make a complaint.

Incorporating the 5 D's into a workplace context requires a proactive and comprehensive approach. Here are some steps leaders HR and Diversity, Equity and Inclusion professionals can take to encourage the use of these tactics:

1. Awareness and Education: Conduct regular training and workshops that raise awareness about the importance of being an upstander and provide guidance on how to implement the 5 D's effectively. By educating employees about appropriate behaviour and the impact of microaggressions, organizations can empower individuals to take action.
2. Clear Policies and Reporting Mechanisms: Establish clear policies that define and prohibit inappropriate behaviour. Create accessible reporting mechanisms that allow employees to report incidents safely and confidentially. Ensure that all reports are taken seriously and addressed promptly.
3. Lead by Example: Leaders and HR professionals must model the behaviour they expect from others. By demonstrating a commitment to inclusion, actively addressing inappropriate behaviour, and publicly supporting upstanders, they create a culture where employees feel safe and empowered to intervene.
4. Encourage Dialogue: Foster open lines of communication by encouraging employees to express their concerns, share their experiences, and provide feedback. Regularly engage in conversations about diversity, inclusion, and respectful workplace behaviour to create a culture that values and respects individual differences. Providing others forms of training such as giving and receiving feedback our how to have courageous conversations, provides everyone with the tools to have constructive dialogue and speak up.

Creating a workplace environment where inappropriate behaviour, subtle acts of exclusion, and microaggressions are addressed promptly and effectively requires a proactive and committed approach from leaders. By understanding the concepts of upstander versus bystander and implementing the 5 D's, organizations can empower individuals to take action, foster inclusivity, and cultivate a culture of respect, dignity, and belonging. 

Embracing the role of an upstander is not only a responsibility but also an opportunity to create positive change and build a more harmonious and productive work environment for everyone.